I remember a time when the words would just flow from my fingertips like an everlasting river. Now, they just trickle here and there like a dried up stream. I miss it. I miss it all. I need to remove this beaver dam of a writer’s block. I think the truth is I grew tired of always thinking about how I am sick. Honestly, I was just always too tired. My brain could barely scraped basic thoughts together. Beyond the basics conversation fillers, I was lost. Exhausted. Burnt out.
I grew tired of trying to be accepted. I was tired of being seen as not being quite good enough. The blogger world is rather cutthroat.I grew bored of commenting of other’s blogs that I had no real interest in with hopes that they would return the favor. It is a lot like high school. Unfortunately, I fall into the place of the girl who doesn’t quite fit in. Sure, I am a mom. Yet in the blogging world, that is not enough, I just wanted the world to see that I am a mom who isn’t perfect but not broken. Most of all, I was tired of pretending. Because if I am going to be honest, I don’t care about recipes of kids snacks or carefully curated visions of a falsely perfect life.
I believe in being me. As is. I know I may not have to most innovative writing but it is real and raw. I bleed myself on to my keyboard in hope of reaching someone like me. I letting the world’s standards roll of my shoulders as my wings spread. I am letting go of the numbers. How many followers? How many views? Are they reading this? Are they sharing this? I am over it. I am letting all of the anxiety that has held me back go. Read my work or not. But at this point, mom blogs can suck it.