On Fridays, the local cafe sponsors a kiddie hour. Each week they do something for preschool age. Sometimes its a snack or music. Today it was a free form art project. I have been wanting for months to take Big D to this but unfortunately I worked on Fridays. So as soon as I put my two weeks in at my former employment, I decided we were going to go to this.

Honestly, we almost didn’t go. The idea of a new social situation gives me anxiety. It is rather funny because if you knew me you would never think it. In front of my friends, I am a social butterfly. However strangers make me wish I had the power of invisibility. Hubby is the same way. In the universe of irony, two introverts seem to have produced two extroverts.

Big D will literally talk to just about anyone. When we arrived, he walked in chattering to everyone like it was a scene from Cheers. He started his craft without hesitance. Honestly I would have rather have stood in the corner until someone acknowledged our presence. Unfortunately, I have a bold two year old who has stuff to do. Pickle is no less of an extrovert. At almost 7 months old, he will smile at just about anyone who will talk to him.

As Big D quietly pasted tissue paper and stick to the board, I was trying to hold back an anxiety attack. I am not good with social protocol. I have this odd mix of sarcasm and frankness that most people don’t know how to take. It is worse when I am nervous. I was really hoping no one would make eye contact with me so I wouldn’t have to have a conversation.  Most people get the impression that I am stuck up or a bitch. I am actually a extremely nice person. I just don’t know how to make first interactions. Once I know people, I become comfortable enough to open up.

So why do it to myself in the first place? Because I want my children to stay extroverts. I want them to be able to always walk into a room and feel like they belong. I have always envied those people. Envious of those people who just fill a room with the light of their presence. Also, I don’t want my kids to miss out on stuff because it puts me in social situation. There is a lot of opportunities I passed on because of my social anxiety. Many of them I regret passing on.

I think that is the greatest part about having children. They cause you to grow in ways you never thought you possibly could. Children learn through example. Therefore if I want my children to take risks in life and try new things, I need to apply that to myself.

Are you an introvert with an extrovert child or vice versa? How do you cope?

(Slight Disclaimer: I started this yesterday but Pickle’s teething got in the way of me finishing it.)